One thing that makes me homicidal is a strange thing. When you have 7 people living in one house you have lots of weird but necessary rules. For instance don't slam the microwave door. If every person in the house did it, the noise level would be insane and eventually the door would break. There are people who do it anyway. Another rule is no singing in the house. Not everyone is going to like your song or your voice. Some people are having quiet time so don't do it. Even if you are doing your chore, don't do it. So you have to go outside to sing if you really feel the need. There really isn't any privacy outside. We are surrounded by other buildings and our front yard is on the street. There is a table and chairs at the front of the house on the walkway. My bedroom is at the front of the house as well. One of the ladies sits out there at least once a day and sings her face off. She is a horrible singer. Like why are you not embarrassed people walking by would hear you? She of course is singing hymns or praying really loud. It's ironic that I am the only one in the whole house who can hear her, and that this activity makes me homicidal. I am in my room trying to watch TV or something and this wallowing is happening. I resent having to put my headphones on and blast them when I am in my own room. People complained before about her singing in the house when she did her chores and in the shower, that's why it got banned from the house in the first place. To ban it from outside too seems unfair.
I have been struggling to make on line businesses work. I have like 6 of them. But I haven't promoted a single one of them. I don't know what is stopping me. Because God knows I need the money. I keep going out to job fairs looking for jobs. I had two interviews last Thursday. They both were a disaster. The first one was for an after school program. The interview was downtown. Which I thought cool, a place I can get to. Of course when I get downtown I can't find it! I am walking back and fourth up and down the street looking. The woman had to come and get me, and turns out I passed it every single time I walked back and fourth. It was in an apparel building, which was ironic, since I am a fashion graduate and wanted to work in the field. Turns out the position isn't downtown at all. It's in Inglewood, a good 2 hour bus ride away. Also there is only a month left in the school year and then a 7 week break for summer. I can't afford that!
Next!
Then a call center job in Brentwood. I mapped my bus ride from the downtown location the next one. I had hours and hours in between. The place was on San Vicente Blvd. I knew where this street was. I got off the bus there, and I had several hours to kill so I got a muffin and hot cocoa and sat for a while. It was pouring rain that day too. I spent time on my phone on the map app going over where the place was over and over to make sure I could get there on time. I got the bus route and was confident I would make it there early even. When it came time to go back out into the pouring rain and wait for the bus I was sure I would make it there. I got on the bus and looked for the address of where I was going. The addresses weren't even close to where I was going. Next thing I knew the bus driver was telling me it was the end of the line and kicking us all off. I was confused. I waited for the bus going the other way. The driver insisted the bus I had gotten off went further. So I went and waited for the next one. When it came the driver said 'no end of the line.' Before I could ask him anything, I stopped myself and just turned around and got back off. I called the office and left a voice mail that I would be there soon. I was having an issue finding the building. Then my phone died. By then I was massively late for the interview and had no way of finding it. I took the bus to best buy and got a portable charger. I plugged it in my phone and called again. Voice mail again. I asked if I could re schedule, but at this point I knew it wasn't going to happen. When I got home I got on my computer to look at the map on a larger screen. Because I had been on my phone I was unable to see the entire area. San Vicente Blvd splits in two. I was no where near where I needed to be. In fact the bus I took wouldn't go where I needed to go. I was miles from the building. If I had taken the bus from my house it would be nearly a 2 hour ride plus a walk to the location. I guess I was better off not going, because it was a long schlep to get there.
I had gotten a sheet for goodwill industries. I had applied there in the past, and even walked in and asked how to get a job there. I guess they hire in waves. I was told at the job fair they were hiring. The man at the booth gave me a packet with all the job listings and their reference numbers. I turned to the page that showed the retail associate positions. There were quite a few at different locations. I asked if I could work at more than one location. He said no. Just apply to all the ones that I would be open to working at. I said ok. When I got home and took the packet out to apply, the page with all the retail positions had vanished. Like it had never existed. I looked everywhere. I went through all of my files, and my bag. It's nowhere. It's as if some weird energy is sabotaging my efforts in order to save me from myself. To funnel me into where I really want to be which is independent. It's been a month since I started my first one, and haven't done a thing. I am still struggling to fill out my forms so I can get paid from them. You download them and scan them. I can't seem to figure out how to get them submitted for some reason. I get frustrated and give up every day. Meanwhile my team leader is having $800 days. I need and want that. Why can't I seem to focus?
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