I spent all night trying not to breathe in cold air. My room has NO heat at all and it feels like an icebox all of the time. In the summer it would trap heat and be like sitting in a sauna. But since I am trying to get better and land work I need to be well. I tossed and turned and tried to stay warm using blasts of warm air under my blanket from my hair dryer. I couldn't fall asleep because of worrying I would wake up sicker than I went to sleep. I didn't fall alseep till 5am. I slept till 9am. The Project Blowed 20th year anniversary show was today and I really wanted to go so I wanted to be as well as possible to hang out with my friends. NONE OF MY FRIENDS COULD COME! Ro takes care of her dad on the weekends. Day was going to Palm Springs for some gay weekend, My friend Q was here from Seattle. I told him I was ill on Tuesday but he said he'd be back in town Saturday. I was still sick Saturday but I didn't hear from him anyway. I messaged him about the concert. But I have a feeling he's in Palm Springs too. Ash had to work. So I had to go alone. I was kind of down that I would have to go by myself. Ash went with me last time. She met me there. I got there and nothing was set up. No acts in sight. I realized that I was really hungry too. I didn't have any money on me. Only gift cards. So I went to the mall to shop for bras. I had bought some on line and they were hopelessly too small and poorly made as well. So I wanted to get some that fit better. I got two different sizes. I am a C but lately I am spilling out of a C so I tried a D. D fits better than C but I am not a D. I got 4 bras and 2 fit. 2 are too tight. So I need to exchange them. But when will I ever get to wall mart again?
I realized that I didn't see ANY of my friends over the holidays and it got me feeling really depressed. I wanted to go home.
Tomorrow I have to go to the DHS office and sit there all day. The housing worker said I needed to apply for the pilot housing program again. Before when I had it it was hopeless. It's only $500. I thought that you could use the $500 and then supplement whatever else through income. So like if I found a $800 apartment I would use the $500 and then pay $300 in cash. But the program doesn't allow you to do that. Your rent has to be $500 or less. Places (rooms) that cost that were scary and unsafe so I dropped it. The housing officer said that I could use pilot as income on a section 8 apartment. So finally that would actually work. Ideally I wouldn't have to use the state for anything. I could make my own money and pay rent myself. It pisses me off that it's taking this long to find work. It's been 9 months since I left school. I have never had this much difficulty finding a bullshit job IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!
I am really sort of wondering what happens next. It can't possibly understand what the fuck is happening in the universe that won't allow me to make money. I want to support myself. I have the skills, talents and abilities to do so but somehow it seems like I have to beg and plead for someone to hire me. This last job seemed like a no brainer but I guess tomorrow I will know for sure. He said that we would know by the next day but the next day wasn't a work day. I wonder if he meant the next business day. Which is tomorrow. I will send an e mail stating I am interested in a position. See what that does.
I sent the e mail and then decided to look up the company on line to see what the reviews were like. It has complaints gallore against it. Another SCAM company. It seems like a trend with all the 'customer service' jobs in the city. They are all these shady sideways companies. I want to work for a REAL company. I could fake it for a month tho.
Oh well.
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