The day I went to the DSHS office was rainy. I expected a long wait. My phone was dead by the time I got there. So I couldn't entertain myself. My counselor gave me some magazines to read. I was literally the last person out of the office at 5:30pm. My whole day spent there literally.
New Years Eve was the last day for me to use my bus pass so I went to the mall to exchange bras. Came back and did some sewing. Talked on the phone with JV. We made plans to meet the next day. I didn't do anything that night. I can't do anything while living here without a week in advance of paperwork done. I realized I haven't been out on New Years Eve in probably 15 years. I used to go to church when I was in Florida. But I didn't even have friends who went out dancing when I was in Florida. The one time I went alone I fell and hurt my knee so I never tried to go again. I reflected over the year and realized it was a shitty year. I remembered all the jobs I didn't get, the struggle and stress of it. (that I am still not out of yet) The fact that I still have no way to get out of this situation. 2015 HAS TO BE BETTER!
New Years Day came and I put myself together to go out with JV. We went to the grove for lunch. We ended up in this cafe inside Nordstrom with a window seat looking over the grove. It was kind of romantic actually. The food was amazing, the conversation fun and light. I love being with JV it's so easy breezy and he takes me wherever I want to go. I have a huge crush on him. We are supposed to get together for lunch and a movie on Sunday. I am excited to see him. Being with him makes me feel like I am living again.. I hate coming back home.
K has disappeared. Hasn't answered a text since Dec 28. I am getting worried about him. I sent him e mails too. I called his other phone and it's still off. I hope nothing bad has happened to him.
I haven't started trying to 'lose weight' for the new year yet. I get my FS monday so I will worry about it then. Im living on canned food until then. Just one more day. I really hope that the GROW worker can get me an actual job. I have to get out of here. I have to drop off my cover letter and resume at the record store. It has to be good. I need to put a little passion into it if I want them to hire me. I don't want to go back to work in an office. I want to be in a creative environment really. I know it's kind of asking a lot at this point. If I want to get out of here it's got to be by any means necessary.
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