I love this city so much. I don't have a car yet so I ride the bus and the train. So I spend a lot of time looking at the landscape. The neighborhoods, the stores the people. Sometimes it's the perfect temperature and I am walking and the breeze is blowing and it's like I am in a dream. I can't believe I am here sometimes. I of course say I should have come here years ago. Skipped Florida completely and just come here. By now I would be established and in my own spot with a life. When I moved to Florida it took 5 years to get 'back on my feet' so to speak. I hope it's not going to take that here. It's already been 3 years and 2 months. I am no where near ready to move into my own place. Don't get me wrong, the place where I live is nice considering it's transitional housing. That's a little better than a shelter, because they screen people and make you pay program fees. But when you are between jobs or can't pay they don't kick you out as long as you are looking for work consistently. For now I have a pretty nice spacious room and a bed to sleep in, even if it is a childs bunk bed. I have wifi and a food pantry in case the going gets rough. So I can't complain. The only thing is there is a curfew. If I want to be out past it I have to get 'permission' and I can only go on the weekends. I can't make spontaneous decisions to just hang out when I want. It's a christian program too so there is bible study on a loop. Some days when you want to be gone doing something fun, you have to be in bible study. If you get a weekend pass, when you come back you have to take a drug test. Which I don't mind, because I'm not about that life anyway. The program used to be for people getting out of rehab. But of course because of the turn of the economy the population has broadened to include all kinds of people. Maybe 10% are people getting off drugs, the other ones are underemployed, or people who lost jobs and couldn't find them so they lost their places. There are 6 ladies living in the house where I live. 4 of them are retirement age, and out of the workforce. One is an ex addict who doesn't quite grasp the concept of getting out there and making money to have a life. She doesn't really go hard looking for work everyday, but volunteers at the church down the block on Friday thinking that will save her from getting kicked out indefinitely. She's never lived on her own at 29, I can't imagine it. I am DYING to live on my own, in my own apartment ALONE! Some days are better than others. I am just thankful that I don't have a roomate crammed in here. Every so often they make a mistake and some nutbag gets in. Several times we had to endure religious zelots who wanted to tell everyone in the house what was wrong with them. The last one left a few weeks ago when she accused the house manager of conspiring with one of the pastors to tailor his sermon around her. Yeah you are crazy paranoid and need to live in a facility and be under sedation. Obsessed with the illumanati and satan, day and day out like this. It was a relief to see her go.
I spend a lot of time thinking about life on the 'outside', decorating my apartment, buying good food and cooking meals at my place. Inviting friends over for dinner and movie nights. Sleeping in a firm full sized bed with 8 pillows. I can't wait.
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