It goes on....

It was one of those days when I wanted to get some stuff done. There was an open call at a recycled clothing store by my house and I thought I would go. They have been advertising for a month, then they put an ad on CL. I filled out an application a few weeks ago but at the bottom they ask 'name some hot labels.' Of course I wanted to know in what areas? I had been reading about streetwear all day so I put two men's streetwear labels, then two designers. I think that was technically wrong. So I thought to fill out another with some different answers. I can't say I am convinced that that is the best place for me. I just like it's near my house. I could get off work and still have a life. I mentioned that I had filled one out a few weeks ago. The manager says 'if we were interested we would have called.' But my phone was off so lets do this again. I didn't tell her that tho. I just filled out another. I wanted to hi lite that I am a fashion graduate as well. 

Goodwill is hiring too, and they were around the corner. So I went by to ask about how the applications are processed. They girl I spoke with told me they had already done all of their hiring. So I felt like I got nothing done. I went back home and walking back to my house I got kind of angry. I am tired of looking for work. I am tired of applying for jobs I am clearly qualified to do and not getting calls or interviews. It's like 2011 all over again, when I first moved here. But at least I have the boys & girls club job that I just had to help me a little. I am burnt out and I really want to move!!!! I get so angry and have no way to express it at all. I just swallow it. 

Later I had to go to mandated bible study and the sermon was about being patient. I was like 'are you kidding me right now.' That was the LAAAAASSSSSSTTTT thing I wanted to hear. I am sick to death of being patient. Or trying to figure out 'God's Plan.' That there's God's time and there's our time, and he has eternity. I just got angrier and angrier. Looking for work has always been a drag. But right now because I want my situation to change it's really difficult for me to just 'hang in there'. I don't have a choice but it's fucking me up emotionally.