Trying to date is a pain in the ass in general. I have issues with black men in their 40's sometimes because they look so much like relatives or my father, and it skeeves me out. I can't date members of Levert. It's really kind of a headache because I am also a creative type, and can't really deal with the 'opposites attract' element and date dudes who like watching sports religiously and never want to do anything I like to do. I promised myself after my last 'relationship' that I would make an effort to date someone I had things in common with. I crushed on this guy on line for like 2 years, who lived in LA when I was in Florida, then I happened to move to LA.. We know alot of the same people. We became facebook friends. I kept running into him on dating sites over and over, and so I finally said hey, we need to meet. I gave him my number and he hit me up seconds later. But two months later, we still have yet to meet. He's black, 40, creative, alternative in his style and way of living. He has a job, car and place and no kids. He's gorgeous as well. BUT.... I have a feeling he doesn't date black women, and doesn't want to say it outloud, so he doesn't push to get together. When I meet black men that I relate to culturally, they tend to only date anything BUT black women, and are all kinds of reluctant to even give me the time of day. It's a bit tiring really. Not sure there is anything I can do about it.
But....
It seems like all of California is on weed. I don't like it, I don't believe in it, I have been there done that and know where it leads and I don't want it in my life. I am perfectly within my rights NOT to want to date a drug addict. I don't think it is a giant thing to ask or being picky or high maintenance. The fucked up part is most 'creative' types think they have to smoke weed or else they aren't creative. Everytime I talk to a guy who is really cool and cute, and have tons in common with, he smokes weed! It's starting to piss me off. It's even more irritating is these guys are in their mid to late 30's and even 40's! I mean don't you give that shit up after you graduate college? Many guys don't say in their profiles that they smoke weed. So when I read them I don't get that until they actually tell me in conversation. It's a deal breaker, and unless he's got cancer, it's non negotiable. I spent all of my 20's trying to have relationships with guys who smoked weed and it was nothing but a really long nightmare. My ex didn't smoke, but had all through high school, and was still a strong supporter of the culture and lifestyle. We would get into wicked arguments about it so we couldn't even discuss weed.
Other than him it was a procession of wasteoids, who made my life miserable with all their, forgetfulness, selective memory, lack of ambition, mental laziness in areas of things that matter and make one's life better, and general selfishness. Back then there were no weed stores so many 'date nights' were spent looking for weed. Or watching him smoke then not feel like taking me anywhere. I got stranded in the middle of the night by a guy friend who got too stoned to take me home one night, and I ended up having to walk home in the rain.
I had been talking to this super cute age appropriate, lives down the street creative guy. In his profile he mentions he's been sober for 15 years. I was like FINALLY!!!!! After we have chatted and then made a date to meet this weekend I notice his screen name has 420 in it! I was like NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!O!!!!!!O!O!O!O!OO!O!O!O!O!O! I guess I have to address it when I see him. I will be so crushed if he smokes too because I could see grooving with this guy.
It's a drawback of loving hip hop, graffiti artists, and b boys. 90% of them are weed heads. It's really depressing.
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